finals

kills!
it's nice to chitchat while conquering the world...

the dog toy

I'm gonna hang it on my door, and everyone who comes into my room will have to squeeze the penis

jesus

Charlie (looking at copy of New Testament on a desk): "Do you have the Old Testament?"

Di: "I have the NEW Testament!"

Charlie: "It's not a replacement, it's a sequel..."

...

Di: I am pretty protective of my...how do you call it?

Ariana: Crushes?

Di: No-- thing you hunt for.

Ariana: PREY?!

re:xmas.

then i have to terminate my offsprings ability to have children

answer to all ills

i just had bagel.

life is recovered.

yep

yeah. whatever. that's why i live on mars

historical reenactment

I'm shooting her so that I can have sex with her corpse. Like a Viking.

san p wall #1

Do you like life? I like life. But I like this pig better. It fits in! Pig goes in, pig comes out.

how freudian

until we understand Freud in the understanding of "opposite day"...haha! then. even those who liked freud would be fucked the inside and out of their brain!

it's a full moon

Di: i was wrapped up with some sensibility treaty... i was so emotionally moved... that made me physically sick
no joking... i didn't eat the entire day
mb: what was it about it that you were so very very moved?
Di: it's about my existence...
mb: your existence requires sustenance, incidentally
Di: exactly... and that's how paradox lives so vividly in me

commentary on a trod-upon kitten

distressed animals make me happy

philosophy slut

i'm more a freud/kierkegaard/tolstoy fan but Kant is a good old philosopher i can sleep with occasionally...

er

i use death as a flirt strategy?! i'm more philosophical than any philosopher then...so i'm the angel of evil...

brainporn

go kierkegaard
fuck my brain...

farmer di

I'll have to find a dead person to grow on instead...maybe tolstoy...whose dead body is your intellectual soil?

no surprise, but you're going to hell

so i stole a new testament from the seminary yesterday...

please do not drive on the same road as me

gotta go kill some children now! muah! nighty night!!!!

insanity

i'm in the spectrum with god

she's never touched anything so soft

I just want bodily intimacy with the monkey

"logan likes me"

"I want to be blown all the time"

I feel like I am this. A trucker. In disguise.

communist love

why give them flower? kiss on cheek! you get immediate results. they either embrace you passionately, or push you aside. it is so efficient!

party time?

I love the great American family and Lesbian Until Graduate, from a rational point of view... not?!

"see? morality!"

I kind of eats like an octopus. I conform it to the outside.

little chinese girl in the big midwest

I do not want to avoid a place just because there may be a threat percolating in the cornfields!

I am not going to the cornfields just for the sake of hunting some exotic lover!

"Leben!!"

I'm a Motrin. If you're in pain, just lick me.

Di...you ARE a woman. We think.

I am rebelling against my transsexual desires. I like to be a woman!

wise tortoises are faking it

If I become that turtle, will I forget him? Look! There is a turtle that fell down! Turtle doesn't have memory, they are fucking animals!

throwing cooking implements will not make him love you

I just want to throw a spatula at him and see how he reacts! Wait, no. I want to throw a SPASM at him, not a spatula.

that's how I become your bitch

I just draw a circle. Whoever wants to be my friend, jump in.

"can you make my pig alive again?"

I get so much satisfaction from tapping flat surfaces. No! Not like penis head.

Can't you just be tolerant to an animal, as a fellow animal?

"Can you prove otherwise?"

Oh, the story of lesbians. All the same, no variations.

"probably Wittgenstein"

He's going to introduce me to a new old man, and I'm going to have an orgasm a night.

cuddle pile

hey, you slip into the vagina formed by your parents. it is time! the vagina is time: old and new. one side is smelly, the other is fresh. one side is wink-ly, the other is not.

-eh

We should have a ramen party soon although I do not want to give up this whore

"before that happened, I thought po-mo was just visionary"

you know what is scary? I was not thinking of anything, and I cracked myself up. I was thinking that there was something coming that was going to be funny, but instead of coming up with the funny thing, I just laughed instead. that right there was the highlight of my life. oh my god I'm so fucked up.

re: little red riding hood.

go home! indie wolf.

asian fluuuush

I'm not drunk! I just radiate. Like those lightbulbs, you know? I see you! I see you! I see you! You're raping my face!

pennsyltucky

Hicks are more pagan. You see, Socrates?

transcription at the slumber party

I can feel your heat, bitch. That's the result I told her to squiz over.

I'd feel a vagina on my hand right now. Right here.

I say here. This is a Schweinchen. Here you go. Stroke my Schweinchen. What's a vulva?... I don't trust pastor's kid! She just touched my tail. We're more animal than human.

It's totally perfect! You just put perfume in your bellybutton! I don't shave my pussy. But I think people do. I think my mom does shave her pussy....because I saw her doing it. I don't want to see my dad's penis, to be honest.

My voice penetrates your years. Oh, I think I just raped a boy.

three's not so much a crowd

Two people can have party. It's sex!

But all the same, more people the better.

(rubbing and napkin are intended)

I don't like robbing. I'm laughing at my face. Have a lambkin!

I knew supersoakers were suspicious...

a: Di is going to spit across the table...

Di: Better than old people, who just pee across the table! See? Old man can have something to do - they just take some viagra and have squirt gun fight!

Blossoms

You can't leave her alone with her anals!

who the hell makes love

I think it should be affectionless group orgy.

"how do you call those people? like, girlfriends?"

Either you want what you want or you become a criminal. Is there a way to love someone in a milder way? Only thing I am sure of is I can get joy out of violence.

fictionpress, are you taking notes.

di: You and I would be wonderful couple.

m: All evidence to the contrary.

di: But first we would have two beautiful babies. Tell your brother: be ready.

I can't have text-tube baby. I would be reproducing my ex-girlfriend...that's kind of fucked up. And then my test-tube baby can date my ex-girlfriend.

Ariana, you're my baby. At least you would get some sex out of the situation.

re: ariana's mother.

of course gay guy would hate her. she is too opinionated for a woman.

What a bitch

nobody knows what Santa is up for. I mean why does he give people free shit. Santa is a bitch.

no really, wtf.

You can't just take that baby bone and make it into a human.

...on her graduate school letters

I would rather have love juice than a signature stamp.

I...just. What?

ariana: di i am also eating coffee icecream, assuming that is not just innuendo
...

Di: sure...

i mean we ARE one...

under jesus christ...

just sex

no need for hatred in orgie

di's winy

Di: no. my winy is hot...
Ariana: what is your "winy"?
Di: my winy is my autistic intelligence
Ariana: .........ok....why is it hot.
Di: because it is autistic
mb: like....overheated....or sexy.
Di: rawr, like bharath.

take that, ennis

I know how to quit you! I hit the button!!

how did you do that

check out my fuckin hardcore jazz stretch!!!

like the sun.

She shines her face on my face.

get some monostat for that shit

my Jesus is itchy...

because SHE does.

Don't you want fourteen-year-old boy to read Kant to you?!

you thought i was asleep, but oh no, i heard you.

I am right in the middle! Not of a VAGINA. There's only a HOLE in the middle of a vagina... Unless you put something there.

i guess so

Half of my professors are marching towards the age of death.

high five

Think of all the semens that are hiding in beards. That's why gay men don't grow beards.

I think there is a fundamental confusion here

dichotomy ends with my name...

you said it.

Fruit cake?? You had fruit cake?? What is a fruit gake??

your pig is a displaced phallus

My xiao pi chu goes into your vagina...it bites! ragh!

mmm, hallcest.

What would Freud say about this? That I just want to lick Marybeth like my chicken.

Romantic Musings

Yes, Sunday night! Get it up and get it over with!

The Power of Imagination is BULLSHIT

NO! I cannot just imagine you are a penis and put your head in my vagina!

it does.

SHIT STUFF HAPPEN!!

cake

Fruit gay? Fruit gake!... I am the maker of mechanical time.

This is Alice's subconscious!

She wants to fuck her dad. Just like every other girl!

Drugs

I don't even need crack, I preserve natural resources!

di dated her, she dated her, i dated her...

Shit happens to be born. Shit was born!!

life goes on

TIME STUFF CHANGE!!

love true love

nothing like force my friends love my lover

Happy Valentine's Day From Di

hard to understand how love brews bitterness.

typical transcription

He stroked my xiaopizhu! Now I feel protective. Xiaopizhu can look like a sandwich. He looks like the bean thing. Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah! Pac man.

My god! Somebody's giving a birth.

Life Philosophy

i mean you just gonna sit back and shit about it now and then. or write some dramas about a hat.